Friday, July 30, 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day 2

Day 2 - Something you love about Yourself

Ooh.. another tough one.. I'm beginning to rethink this whole 30 days of truth challenge!

Lets see.. something I love about myself....well... I'd have to say that I'm an excellent mommy.   I had my daughter at a young age... and although I didn't know much about babies or being a mom.. I was a great one!   I completely fell in love with her (like all mommies do) and took care of her the best I could.  I gotta admit I did better than a lot of young moms out there.  I love my kid to death, and the simple fact that I'm a good mother to her is what I love most about myself.  No one...NO ONE....not even me will EVER hurt my daughter...well if I can help it anyways....

It's funny how you cherish the things that make you happy before you have kids, but once you have kids, you cherish everything that makes them happy...because their happiness makes you happier than anything else ever could.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day 1

Day 1 - Something you hate about yourself

WOW!   What a tough one to start off with!   I mean, yeah, I can name a few things that I hate about myself, but which ones do I want to broadcast on the internet?!?!?!

Well.. here it goes.... I think if I had to name one thing, it would have to be my temper.  There are a lot of times (especially with my hubby)  There are a lot of times where I'll get really irritated or mad about something small that can be avoided.

I need to learn to let the little unimportant things go.  I can completely go off on my hubby for the littlest thing...and then afterwards I stop and think... well why was I mad about that in the first place???

I tend to blow things up and over react I guess.  Instead of saying... "Will you please not do that" or just completely forget about it because it's so small and dumb in the first place, I just get all irritated and mad.

I wake up in the mornings with the intention of not getting upset, and letting the little things go.. but when it comes right down to the moment, I just do it without thinking... I don't think before I get mad...I just do and say things i regret saying afterwards.

I've tried doing some reading on anger management.. and got some ideas, but I'm not sure how to implement them.  Yes, counting to 10 before I do or say anything would probably help tremendously.. but how to remember to count to 10 in the moment... that's the hard part.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

30 Days of Truth

Ok, so I seen this on a couple other blogs.. and I thought it would be a good idea to do.  30 days of truth... so for the next 30 days (or more if I get lazy!) I will be posting one of these things about myself... have fun and enjoy the ride!

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Bad day...

Can I just vent for a minute??? Can we just forget that I'm a nice calm mommy for a minute while I freak out?????  Ok.. thanks!

Ok... here's the story.. so Tim is not my daughters real dad.. he's step dad.  Anyways, Kylie's dad is a complete idiot... I left him about 4 years ago... he is an alcoholic and abusive (to me.. hasn't ever touched my daughter)  Anyways, we have a divorce decree... but we're STILL going to court.  I have full custody.. physical and legal... he's constantly trying to get that changed.  I moved to another house.. and when I did, I changed daycares... well he took me to court because I did that...because apparently the daycare I chose..although it is like 100 times better than the old one is too far away from his house... who's taking her to daycare every morning???  ME!  Not him... so why the heck would it matter???

Well he apparently has a girlfriend who lives in Cali and he went to see her.... just up an left... he's been there for about a month now.... he hasn't called.. nothing.. we have no clue when he is coming back.  I can't believe he would just leave and forget about his daughter!!! She misses him!

So I let her go with his parents because there was some family birthday party. They kept her overnight, and when they brought her back they kept her up until 11:30 at night, and then woke her up at 6 AM....umm... do we know what bedtime is??  The kid needs her sleep!!

And on top of all of that.. they didn't give her a nap...filled her up on sugar and sent her home to have a MAJOR meltdown...

So she went to preschool the next day, and they said it was like her evil twin was there... she was out of control..hitting...throwing things and just being downright nasty.... they thought I had her on some type of medication or something....

Honestly.. and he thinks I"m the unfit parent???  He leaves his daughter for over a month with no contact!!!  It was so sad.. the other day she asked me why daddy didn't say goodbye to her before he left...there were so many things that I wanted to say at that point.. but I settled with.. I don't know...why don't you ask him when he gets back.  Shouldn't he be the one that owns up to his daughter on why he left her??

I try not to talk crap about her dad in front of her... as much as I hate his guts...he's still her dad.  She'll find out soon enough that her dad is a piece of crap and make her own decision.  I haven't even gotten child support in almost 6 months now....

.I know a lot of it is control issues.. he thinks that if he keeps dragging out this court thing that he still has control over me.  He uses our daughter against me.. he's threatened to call child services because my husband and myself discipline her....if I put her in her room for time out and she cries... I'm locking her in her room and it's abusive.. really?? Since when is a time out abusive???

There are no rules at his house, my daughter does whatever she wants, and they cave in to her every whine.. and then when she comes home she's constantly throwing fits because she comes back to a house full of rules and discipline....

What am I supposed to do?? I hate seeing her in the state of mind that she is in when she gets back from being with her dad.. she's all out of whack.... I wish there was a way that I could stop him from hurting her all the time...I've never actually hated a person in my life... but I definitely hate him.. and I can't help it!!!

Does he just not care about her??? It's his own flesh and blood.. he should!   I just don't understand how he can not call or say good bye or something.. I"ll be saying goodbye for like 20 minutes until someone pulls me away... I'll be calling every day just to hear her sweet voice.  When she goes to his house for his weekend.. I can't stand it.. Yeah it's nice to have a break but I can't wait until she comes home!   I don't understand how he can leave for a month and not miss her.. not call.. and not even stop to think.. oh maybe my daughter misses me.. I think I'll call her.   As a mother I have an instinct to want to kill anything and everything that hurts my daughter or makes her cry.. except I can't do that because it's her dad...there's no reasoning with him either.. he's worse than a 2 year old... Some people really shouldn't be able to have kids.   

Ok.. I think I might feel a little better now....thanks for listening!!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

My Wedding...

Ok, so I thought I would get some more pictures up here... and the most recent are from my wedding!!  

Me and my Hubby, Tim met almost 2 years ago (will be 2 years in October) I'm pretty sure it was love at first sight!

The proposal?  Ok, here it goes.  So we were sitting outside on his balcony one day (the day before mothers day 2009) And we had decided to go to the mall to just kinda walk around and people watch.  So I get up to go inside...

Tim: Where you going?
Me: Inside...
Tim: For what?
Me: I have to pee...
Tim: Why?
Me: Umm... cuz I have to go...
Tim: Oh ok..

So I go in and do my thing, and then decide to get my shoes on and grab my purse so we can go to the mall...but when I come back out...

Tim: Why do you have all that?
Me: Aren't we going to the mall?
Tim: Can't we just sit out here for a little longer?
Me: Um.. Ok...

EVERYTHING I did... why are you doing that,  what is that for.. where you going....


What are all these questions about???  I was getting REALLY  Irritated!

Me: DO you really have to ask me about EVERYTHING I do.. what's up with this?
Tim: Just give me a hug ok?

SO I gave him a hug.. and here it goes!

Tim: You know I really do love you with all my heart, and I just want to spend the rest of my life with you...

Oh here it goes.. down on one Knee!!!  Is he really going to do it?

Tim: Will you marry me??

I was so surprised... love.. whatever it was that I was.. I didn't even say yes.. All I could say was oh Tim did you really just propose to me?  I love you so much... lol so he was like  um.. is that a yes?

Well anyways... we were engaged for a little over a year and married June 4, 2010.. and heres the pics...

Bridal Photos

I look like a dang model here!   We had so much fun doing my bridals!



Getting my dress on.. oh wow that was fun lacing everything up.. getting everything absolutely perfect!

I was a little nervous.. can you tell??

Groomsman and Bridesmaid
(My Brother, and Stepmom)

Best Man and Maid of Honor

My mom and the Cutest flowergirl ever!!!
Kylie did such a good job.. she was perfect!

Here comes the Bride!!

You may Kiss the Bride!

So yeah.. there's some pics from our wedding.. I have more coming.. still waiting on the photographer... from the reception and other stuff!  So wait for part 2!!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Our Vacation...

Ok, so we went to the airshow in Idaho this weekend.   Kylie didn't have a nap on friday, so she was a little cranky in the car on the way there.

So I come home from work...
Kylie: mommy.. mommy I have everything packed!
Me:  Are you sure.. let me check....
Kylie: Did we forget anything.. do we need to bring lunch.. are they going to have lunch for us?
Me: Yes Kylie, we'll be able to get lunch...
Kylie: What about breakfast, do they have breakfast there??  Are we going to be hungry?  Are you sure we don't need to pack a lunch?  They won't let us starve will they?

Ha ha this was her first vacation.. she was Really excited and obviously didn't know what to expect!

I borrowed a DVD player from my neighbor to keep her occupied... but I couldn't get the dang thing to just said loading forever.... GREAT!  Now what I have a tired screaming 4 year old and we haven't even been driving for an hour.

Of course this isn't my DVD player so I don't know all the quirks and tricks of it.. I find the owners manual and start reading...I didn't get the answer as th why it won't play, but I did figure out that there are 35 games on this't know they could do that.... obviously that's what the game controller is for huh!

So I get that going and she playes games the rest of the way there.

We finally pull into the hotel at around midnight... she's STILL awake.. I can't believe it.. no nap all day and she stays up until midnight!

We get up into the room and she's obviously exhausted, mommy.. is this our new house? Ha ha She still didn't get it.  She has never been in a hotel either!

The next day we go to the feels quite cooler outdoors.. still hot, but not as hot as in Utah... we get to the airshow, and start walking around... "Mommy!  I'm so hot, I'm burning!"  Crap.. I forgot sunscreen!

Oh well... I tried to keep her in my shadow as much I could so she wouldn't be directly in the sun...

SHe got to jump on the bouncehouse, sit in the driver seat of a helecopter, and we found out she's deathly afraid of policemen... she wouldn't even go near them!

We got to see the Blue Angels.. which I thought was pretty cool.. I wouldn't be able to fly that clsoe together without crashing!

Well anyways, we stopped at walmart on the way back to the hotel and picked up some aloe.. I was so sore.. hubby was bright red, and Kylie was complaining, but I didn't see anywhere that was red.
So my back is totally burnt....hubby's face and legs are totally burnt, with blisters all over his face.. and Kylie is unharmed.. the things parents will do to keep their children save...

Oh well.. we're back home now.. back to work today.. I totally didn't want to wake up this morning....I"m about off though, and then it's back home to clean up the mess of suitcases and dirty laundry!

About Me!

What was the last book you read?
The last real book I read.. I have no clue....I mostly read my textbooks for school right now.
Do you have brothers and sisters?
My Brother Passed away in a car accident in 2004.
How do you spend your free time?
At this point, I am either doing homework, or spending time with my family.
Which country are you from?
I am 1/4 Japanese, but born in the US.  
What do you do on Sundays?
Go to church, and spend time with my family.
What do you do? What's your job?
I work in the enrollment department at a University.
What kind of food do you like?
I will eat just about anything, but my favorite would probably be Italian food.
Who has had the most influence in your life?
That would definately have to be my mom.  She got me through all the tough stuff, and taught me that life really isn't as bad as I thought it was.  
Are you a 'morning' or 'night' person?
Definately night.. I hate mornings, and I'm never in bed before 11
How many times did you move as a child?
The first time I ever moved was when I was 17.  Technically it wasn't a move either, my parents sent me away to a treatment facility for troubled youth... since then, I've moved around a lot.
What kind of woman/man would you like to marry?
I've already married the man of my dreams (June 2010)
Would you rather take pictures or be in pictures?
Definately take them.. I am so not photogenic...
Are you a beach, country or city person?
There's good aspects of each, but I think I would be most happy in the city.. however I don't want to be in the middle of a big city.. 
Where do you spend most of your money?
School.. bills... food... the normal stuff...
Why were you given your particular name?
My mom had a friend in college named Sara, and she fell in love with the name, so that's how I got my name!
What is your favorite candy bar?
Depends on the day, but I love chocolate with some kind of nut in it... I think chocolate bar with almonds would have to be my fav.
What is your favorite kind of music?
I like all music.. I am a very musical person.  I play piano, violin, guitar and I sing
How many kids do you want when you get married?
Already married and have 1 kid... hoping to have 1 maybe 2 more.
What is your favorite thing about your mom?
My mom is a very caring person, who always goes out of her way to make sure I'm happy.
What is your favorite thing about your dad?
My dad is funny, and has lots of good stories.
Do you like to sing?
Yup.. as long as no one is listening...
Do you like to dance?
I wouldn't exactly call it dancing...more of moving about randomly...
Do you like to play a musical instrument?
Violin, Piano, Guitar and I sing...
What is your favorite type of art?
The kind that my daughter brings home from preschool and hangs on my refrigerator 
Do you like building things?
I wouldn't trust myself to build something...
What are your favorite subjects in school?
Math and Music class..
What is your favorite christian movie?
I like Facing the Giants, and Fireproof...
Are you working in your chosen profession?
Nope, but still going to school for it.. Elementary Teacher
How many hours a week do you work?
What is your dream job?

Friday, July 23, 2010

Our Trip...

Ok, so We're going up to Idaho this weekend to see an airshow my husband wants to see.  This means 5 hours in a car with a 4 year old... fun.  I gotta make sure I pack the dvd player.. and NOT forget the dvd's.. snacks, games, activities.. am I forgetting anything??? Probably.  I'm thinking we'll drive until she starts getting hungry, and then fill her tummy up and hopefully she'll sleep the rest of the way there.  Oh well whatever happens we'll have lots of fun.  She'll finally find out what a vacation is.  I mean yeah, she's been on vacation before, but it's always been to go see my dad, or some family member... she's never really been on vacation.

She told me the other day.."Mommy.. vacation is when you don't go to work or school and you just stay home"  ha ha you have much to learn child.  Every time I take a day off of work or something I think she hears me say I'm using my vacation time.. so to her.. I guess vacation is just skipping work...

I'm not too much into the airplane thing.. but the hubby was in the air force, so he's all excited about it.. and of course airplanes are the coolest thing ever to a 4 year old.  But that's not what matters.. Quality family time.  Finally I get to spend time with then without having to worry about homework, or work, or laundry, or everything else that I worry about..... hopefully.

Am I doing this blogging thing right???

My First Post...

 Well.. I never thought it would come to this...blogging.  But I figure I'd try it out, more than likely I'll end up getting addicted to it. :P  Well anyways, my name is Sara, I have a beautiful daughter named Kylie (4) and am married to the man of my dreams... Tim.   I currently work full time at the school I attend as a Live Chat operator.  I talk to students inquiring about the school.  I am a student working on my bachelors degree in Elementary Education. Really.. and I still decided to blog.. where exactly am I going to get the time for this???  We'll see how this works  ha ha.   Anyways, back to my family story here.  My husband, Tim, is a scale technician.   He fixes and installs anything from doctors scales to truck scales.  Did I mention that he is the man of my dreams???? Kylie is the cutest kid on the planed.. I'll post pictures later.  I'm writing this from work.. shhh.

Well... as you probably figured out I'm new to blogging, so I"m not 100% sure on the rules and lingo and everything else, so just bear with me for a while!  I think this is where I tell the whole interwebs about my life and how my day is going....well.. here it goes....